Funny, shocking (not for the faint-hearted:p): Bruno Visits a Psychic

Another funny Bruno video:) The over-the-top German accent is quite entertaining

T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) by will.i.am ft. J.Lo & Mick Jagger

I'mma  recent.ly dev.eloped  a g.reat liking for da Hip Hop gen.re :)
The b.eats are awe.so.me but the lyrics are just so wrong... (rude, dumbed down)
not something that kids/teenagers should listen to...
Then again, I wouldn't have known what the lyrics are about if I hadn't looked it up online...
So I guess I can be for.give.n for liking the song before I knew what it's all about :p
My fav.our.ite Hip Hop song at the moment is T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) by will.i.am ft. J.Lo & Mick Jagger...
yeah...you'd never have guessed that J.Lo's voice is in it too! :)
so I'mma share this vid.eo that I found on You.Tube... (uploaded by InterscopeGeffenAM)
and the lyrics (below)

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juVKpvYjb-8)

Lyrics:-
(Source: http://www.directlyrics.com/william-hard-lyrics.html)
Oh my goodness, this beat is so hard...
Oh my goodness, this beat is so hard...

[will.i.am]
I'mma go hard, hard to the core
Hard like moth* f*c*in liquid swords
Harder than worldwide stadium tours
I am the future, delorian doors

Will he survive? Never deceased
I don't think I'mma ever gonna rest in peace
I'mma kill the game, leave the rest in pieces
Now everybody want my recipe
Tell a jealous chicken I don't know what the beef is
I'm just making money for my grankids' nieces
I'mma work hard, that's my thesis
This beat is the sh*t, feces

Pardon me ma'am, I'mma go dumb
Smart.i.am, I'm complicated, hard.I.am
I end the beginning, then start it again

[Jennifer Lopez - Hook]
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home

You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home

Oh my goodness, this beat is so hard...
Oh my goodness, this beat is so hard...

[will.i.am]
You can get that, or you can get this
You can call a demon, I'mma call Jesus
You can get a curse, you can get a cross
You can go to work, or you can be the boss
I'mma be the owner, be a thought donor
I'mma go hard, like a muthaf*c*in boner
I'mma make the beat put the people in a coma
You can be a geek or be a rolling stoner

I woke up in the morning,Hard like morning wood in the morning
Woke up thinking about microphonin'
E.t own the mic phone the homeland
Will.i.am The Hardest Ever lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/william-hard-lyrics.html


I'm way out like NASA
I'm way over here I done past ya
I get stacks of cash, you get cashews, I go hard, statues

[Hook]
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home

You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard or you can go home

[Bridge]
Now let me take this time to say I don't wanna lead you on
You can go hard or you can go home Well I, I know it is a lot to take but I don't wanna lead you on
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard...

Wait a minute, I'mma make it a little harder
I'mma make it a little harder
Give it to you a little harder
THIS IS HARD....

[Mick Jagger]
Hard like a rock n roll
The time bomb's tickin', explode
Baby this is dynamo
Better move back now
It's bout to blow
Hard like Geometry, and Trigonometry
This is crazy
Psychology
Get it baby
I'm bout to win
Watch out now
I'm going in

You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard
You can go hard or you can go home
You can go hard..

Funny NYC Subway ads :)

 

"Still a virgin? 

For help call 888-743-4335

Toll free"

(but...why would virgins need help?)

 

"PUBLIC B.O. NOTICE:

Persons emanating foul body odor in confined spaces may be reported and cited for olfactory violation"

(Olfactory violation? lol :) hehe)

Blueberry bagel with "egg" & "cheese"???

-->

The cook gave me a "surprised" look when I asked for a blueberry bagel with egg & cheese.
Okay, I admit that it's unusual... :)

but it's much healthier compared to a blueberry bagel with icing sugar/jam,
plus - I can tolerate that unusual combination.

Of course, an occasional sugary bagel doesn't hurt at all - but you'll feel lethargic if u have just carbs for breakfast.
There's so much to see & do on a fine morning in NY, so I didn't want to ruin my energy level

I've tried all the savoury bagels - sesame, poppy seed, flaxseed, onions/garlic
I just haven't sampled all the sweet variety
I badly wanted to try the blueberry bagel
but I didn't wanna mess up with my breakfast by having it with icing sugar.

This is supposed to be an onion bagel, but it doesn't have a hole in the middle like all other bagels do

 

A black bagel called "pumpernickel" - my favourite

 

Bagel with pumpkin seeds, flaxseed, poppy seed
I had it with chicken (yum)

Sesame seed bagel with cream cheese. I love cream cheese:)
Delis/bagel shops usually have 3 variety of cream cheese
- scallion cream cheese
- vegetable cream cheese
- LOX cream cheese (cream cheese mixed with smoked salmon)

 

In Manhattan, you can go to a deli anytime & there'll be fresh bagels waiting for you

 

This is a pumpernickel with scallion cheese

 

Crunchy vacuum-fried NZ mussels (Low-fat) : D-I-Y :)

Discovered a good recipe for crunchy vacuum-fried NZ mussels when I accidentally dehydrated some fresh mussels while cooking them in the microwave :)

The "dehydrated" mussels taste as good as the Japanese deep fried baby crabs (omg..I sound so cruel) - normally sold in small packages of 100-200grams.

The best part about the mussels :)
- no oil is used for frying them.
Crunchy + low-fat

Remember the egg bombs? :)

 

It's funny how some of the best recipes are discovered when cooking experiments go wrong...

CASHing in on ACADEMIC writing :)

Ever wondered how you can apply your Harvard referencing skills in the real world to make GOOD MONEY? ;)
For many years, academic writing has been deemed as irrelevant to the real world - the corporate environment.
But now :) internet has opened up an unlimited possibility for earning quick income ;)
Hence, academic writing has become the NEW lucrative income source - and a TAX-FREE one (for freelancers out there. if you're an ad company, of course you've gotta pay taxes;))

Why?
The biggest advertising channel out there is.... not Google, not Yahoo
but... WIKIPEDIA :)
Yes, Wikipedia
Companies YEARN for a place in WIKIPEDIA
but it's not easy to get into Wikipedia without a bit of clever manouvering ;)
Try posting any articles that are not up to par with the Wikipedia standard - it will be deleted instantly
yes, the voluntary moderators are merciless...

So, how do you post a Wikipedia article successfully?:)
You need to know the biggest loophole
- ie, IMMACULATE REFERENCING
not an impossible task...but requires a great deal of patience
But hey, if you're one of the 1% people out there who can write good Wikipedia articles...congratulations :)
you're providing a very very IN-DEMAND, very very NICHE service.

Less than 1% of the population has the determination/patience to read, write, summarise, edit and compile pages of Wikipedia articles

Good news - if you're a book geek ;)
If you're not, it's never too late to learn to be one
- and you should!
It's now time to re-read those uni books that you've abandoned for many years ;)
Good luck :)
Well, why am I sharing this precious info, knowing that I'll be having more competitors in the future?

1) Wikipedia's a big pie
there's a limit to the number of Wiki articles I can write in this lifetime :)
besides, I don't wanna be writing only Wiki articles ;p
(no matter how good the pie tastes...sometimes we need a bit of "variety" in life - abit of cheesecakes, a bit of ice-creams, waffles...)

2) If I don't share this info...some probloggers will figure this out someday, and attempt to sell e-books & seminars for this no-brainer piece of advice
(now if you're a pro-blogger & you're reading this, don't try to be a leech. Internet wealth should be shared by all. If I catch any of you trying to sell this idea in your 'expert books', BEWARE- i'll hunt you down :p - for the sake of potential Wikiwriters' welfare. So...Yaro Starak, John Chow...etc, be good boys, please. "Don't use this info for commercial purposes, I repeat". Does it make you feel happy when poor novice writers have to spend a fortune on your highly exaggerated materials? If you're earning as much as you claim to, why not do a bit of charity? Now if you wanna share this free-of-charge in any publication, you're most welcome to do so, but please be ethical & give credit to the source)

3) well, I can probably become a millionaire by running a Wikiartices company, but money's not my only motivation in life. I plan to take things easy once I reach 32 (that's in 6 years time)...find my soul mate, get married, and if I happen to have kids, maybe I should breast-feed for 2 years? No time for Wiki articles then...;p
I'll be filming some home videos with step-to-step guidelines on how to... ermm, breast feed ;p
and share the vids with all of you via Facebook & YouTube

*Licensed by Creative Commons* :PPPP

Condom-like stationery called "Thimblette" ;p

Remember the cute condom-shaped thimblettes with ribs and dots?

Chanced upon the "improved versions" of the originals;p

Snapshots of Auckland is proud to present the

2009/2010 Winter Collection of condoms thimblettes, I mean

1) Light blue ribbed and dotted thimblette with holes

2) There are even some colourful breast pouches to go along with the condoms ;p

3) the transparent & ultra-thin versions...
Oh, they glow in the dark too ;) hehe

Bigger sizes

Errm... these ones look like they've been used before... :P

Thimblettes' other name - Finger Sack
(errm...can someone please come up with a better name? Finger Sack is sooo unromantic)

How I ALMOST ate DOG FOOD (Chocolates) ;p

By now you probably know that I love chocolates, especially dark ones;p

So, it's perhaps not a very surprising revelation that I almost ate Home Brand's "Choc Drops" for dogs.

Hey, it's not that I'm dumb...but the Choc Drops were placed at the mini shelves near the cashier, where you'd normally find food items FOR HUMAN like "chocolates", mint, chewing gums...

Hence, when I was waiting for my turn to pay for grocery items while shopping in Foodtown (now taken over by Countdown), Quay St (Auckland) I almost picked up a box of these...

...until I spotted the other items besides the Home Brand Choc Drops

So... I really am not that dumb... ;p
Or at least I refuse to believe it

I mean, Home Brand is a brand that I'd normally associate with "human food items" like butter...

cheddar cheese

self-raising flour

but not dog food!!!

Ok... Home Brand, I'm overreacting ;p
You are most entitled to carry any types of products you wish - be it for human, cats or dogs...

But FoodTown or Countdown really shouldn't put that stuff here! LOL :)

....especially above Watties' stuff

Honey, I SHRUNK McD's burgers !

Alamak!!
McD's Fillet-o-Fish Burger looks so pathetic that I almost had to cry when I looked at it.

McD darling, have some common sense, pleeez...

How can the burger's diameter be smaller than the diameter of the already-very-tiny plastic cup? aiyoyo...

Fair enough, I understand that you got into a lot of trouble because of unflattering revelations in the film "Super Size Me", but you don't have to start Mini-Me-ing your burgers, do you?

(Source: Wikipedia)

"Super Size Me is a 2004 American documentary film directed by and starring Morgan Spurlock, an American independent filmmaker.

Spurlock's film follows a 30-day time period (February to beginning of March 2003) during which he eats only McDonald's food.

The film documents this lifestyle's drastic effects on Spurlock's physical and psychological well-being, and explores the fast food industry's corporate influence, including how it encourages poor nutrition for its own profit.

Spurlock dined at McDonald's restaurants three times per day, eating every item on the chain's menu. He also always "super-sized" his meal if given the option—but only if it was offered.

Spurlock consumed an average of 20.92 megajoules or 5,000 kcal (the equivalent of 9.26 Big Macs) per day during the experiment.

As a result, the then-32-year-old Spurlock gained 24½ lbs. (11.1 kg), a 13% body mass increase, a cholesterol level of 230, and experienced mood swings, sexual dysfunction, and fat accumulation to his liver."

Coffee + Mini-Me burger + hash brown = 9 bucks

*shakes head*

I wouldn't be complaining if you hadn't shrunk the size of the burger to half its original size...

'Sun-Maid girl' makeover sparks controversy

Hey peeps, I'm now indulging in trashy news & enjoying every single moment of it:)

A quick run-through on what's new on Yahoo Finance

- the Sun Maid raisin girl's new look :)

I absolutely love it!:)

but the new makeover has drawn criticisms ..."that the newly made-over raisin girl looks like a Barbie Doll in Amish attire" (by the way, what's Amish?;p Google l8er)

The blog for conservative magazine The Weekly Standard noted that the new Sun-Maid girl looks "as if Julia Roberts decided to don a red bonnet and start picking grapes,"

(Hey, what's wrong with that? I absolutely like Julia Roberts. She's the perfect actress- perfect voice, good looks & good acting skills)

while the feminist website Jezebel.com remarked that it looks as if she's had “some implants.”
(Ok... girls, I think having implants is a sign of female liberation. So, don't get all upset. Guys have pec implants too, don't they? but it doesn't make them any less disempowered)

Since 1915, the face of Sun-Maid has been Lorraine Collett Petersen, who, according to the company's website , "was discovered drying her black hair curls in the sunny backyard of her parents' home in Fresno, California."
 
Petersen was then asked to pose for a watercolor painting holding a basket of grapes while wearing a sunbonnet.
 
In the years since, the company has tweaked its trademark design occasionally to keep up with the times, but every variation has always been based on the original pose by Petersen.
 
While the Sun Maid girl had a "makeover", Kim Kardashian had a "makeunder"
Don't know who Kim is but have seen her pics in girly mags like New Idea while waiting for my turn in supermarkets & thought she has nice boobs

(Source: http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/a-line/kim-kardashians-makeunder/315?nc)

I think she looks even better without heavy make-up
A bit like an exotic Middle Eastern belly dancer

More funny sightings in Sydney;)

"BUTT AID" diaper rash ointment

Optic illusion: "Happy HOOKERS" I mean HOCKERS" signboard

Why on earth would you name a kebab shop "Chicken Spot"???

Funny menu :)

"Salmon avocado big sushi roll"

"Grilled eel big sushi roll"

"Mixed sashimi big sushi roll"

Ok, I know you're like...big ;p

but you don't have to mention it all the time, do you?

Yes, I know they're very fresh

Sleepy sleepy sleepy...zzz
continue later ;p

G'nite, peeps
sweet dreams

Delucas Cafe, ASB Bank Tower, Albert St, Auckland City

Delucas Cafe is like a woman having her PMS ;p
- unpredictable
sometimes, the food portions are unbelievably huge,
sometimes, they are so tiny...
the prices remain the same - regardless of the portion
the food variety is impressive
but the QC (quality control) is... nada

Sometimes, the food is so good that every bite tastes heavenly

Sometimes, you pay a premium for soggy stuff that are left over from the previous days

The cheese scones on 19th Aug 2009 tasted pretty good

 

Skip the quiches and pies - too much pastry & too little fillings

 

The food always look good, though :)

**My sincere apology for the sexist interlude about PMS - in case any of you might have been hurt by the joke ;p

The purpose of this blog is to provide quick entertaining read for web users out there :)

Kings Cross: Journey to... Enlightenment :P

Kings Cross is such a unique place :) hehe
Came across a Book Exchange store that isn't exactly a "book exchange" store

No books (Errm, who'd bother to read books when they can get free porn vid clips on YouTube?;p)

Just some comfy looking footwear cheekily named "Big Tits Slippers" ;p

Also came across a Tool Shed that's quite unlike other toolsheds I've seen in my life

Oh yes, you can find a wide array of tools in there

-eg, a rubber duckie ;p

Yes, rubber duckie ;p

I find it very ironic...

that an adult toy shop is selling kids' toys (I was expecting something more 'adult'... like kangaroo scrotums)

and that a sundry shop sells penis-shaped water guns (below). Ermm, wtf?

WTF?

Lol :), why would an adult want a rubber duckie?

why would a 3-year-old boy want a penis-shaped water gun?